Through the process of working towards KODISTA (Of Home, Homing) I learned how deeply rooted this need to be productive is in me – as a product of our society. I noticed how creativity is not productive in the way the world sees productivity, it is not linear and progressive. As Haseman defines this; creativity shapes and shifts the world instead of describing it, finding new ways to model and experience it, and values truth as a change-making force rather than correlation (2008). It is unpredictable, consisting of accidents and inconsistencies. This was the case in my process too – it felt important to sit with the subject matter, while working regularly, but leaving time for ambiguity and time when I did not have the answers – to let the accidents happen. As mentioned in Methodology, dreaming as I named it became that tool for me; in the world where I did not know the contents of the performance, but was working towards one, I began dreaming up the world I wanted to build. That meditation with the questions of home allowed me to find deep assimilations between experiencing time, especially slowing down, and my experience of home. As the process itself was arbitrary, so was my documentation of it – in terms of pinning down which ideas influenced which ones and how they progressed. However, here is my best attempt at it:

See also: APPENDIX D - Working Notes on Dreaming